Is it the weather? The Winter here isn't here, it feels fake. Is it a particular life phase I'm going through? Is it my inevitable 30th birthday I don't want to face? Because frankly, I really don't want to turn 30. I never guessed life would be so, I don't know, demanding for me. I never guessed I would be so upset with the thought I should really start raising some kids and smile like the happy family on posters of toothpaste commercials because that's what society expects me to do. While still, all I want to do is keep on dreaming about how I want the world to be. I don't fit in sometimes. But, who does actually?
Don't get me wrong: I'm engaged to a great man (but again, we don't even know if a marriage is really neccessary for us), I've got a job (that's something really precious to have), I've still got my both great parents and we're about to construct our own home after living together in apartements and with parents-in-law for the last 6 years. So I've got plenty of things to be grateful for and to look forward to. Then why, I feel like I have no control or no energy left to start living the life of a 30 year old?
Thanks for reading.